[ this wash, at least, has had no real reason or need to confront this south with the worst parts of herself. if things somehow did go that way again, he would, but for now he's more than content just leaving that in the past. what she did was fucking awful, but it's not like wash hasn't done awful things either, not all of which south knows about. none of them were great people, to have ended up where they did.
he makes an amused sound, at her answer. just as hollow, but there is a genuine wry humor there. he hasn't gotten this far without learning to see some of the dark humor in the tragedy of everything that happened to him, to all of them. ]
I think in order to get this far, I kind of had to accept that being a wreck is just -- part of it. Always gonna be.
[ he isn't ever going to not be a fuckup, not be a mess, not be irreversibly damaged by everything he's been through. that's just the way it is. he can't really get past it. it's just kind of part of who he is, now. and any sense of who he is, even something like that, is worth holding onto. ]
It's just being a fucked up mess isn't the only thing. [ a pause. ] That's the idea, anyway. Can't say I'm good at it.
[ wash is still, fundamentally, mostly a fucked up washed up space marine. but he's learned he can also be other things. a mentor, a teacher. a very put-upon babysitter. he never stops being a damaged mess, never stops being a risk to the people around him because of it, but. there's other things. ]
no subject
he makes an amused sound, at her answer. just as hollow, but there is a genuine wry humor there. he hasn't gotten this far without learning to see some of the dark humor in the tragedy of everything that happened to him, to all of them. ]
I think in order to get this far, I kind of had to accept that being a wreck is just -- part of it. Always gonna be.
[ he isn't ever going to not be a fuckup, not be a mess, not be irreversibly damaged by everything he's been through. that's just the way it is. he can't really get past it. it's just kind of part of who he is, now. and any sense of who he is, even something like that, is worth holding onto. ]
It's just being a fucked up mess isn't the only thing. [ a pause. ] That's the idea, anyway. Can't say I'm good at it.
[ wash is still, fundamentally, mostly a fucked up washed up space marine. but he's learned he can also be other things. a mentor, a teacher. a very put-upon babysitter. he never stops being a damaged mess, never stops being a risk to the people around him because of it, but. there's other things. ]