Better. Yeah. [ she scrubs a hand over her face, breathes ] S'all about being better.
[ That was always what everyone on the rig, that Wash included, pushed her towards. Just doing better. That Wash once called her on refusing to even try to change because— "You think you're going to fuck up if you try to be something else, so you don't even try at all."
He wasn't wrong. It still took her another month and finding out about the experiment the Project did on her and North to start beginning to try. To hear all this from Wash is about the least surprising part of this interaction because she knows a little of how hard he had to push to get to where he is, because really the fact that Wash got as far as he has eventually became proof that she wouldn't be wasting her time trying. Even for all that they're different.
He wasn't the reason she finally tried to change, but he was certainly one of the catalysts in getting her there. So as strange as it is to be here, having this conversation, she's glad they can be. He's not that Wash, but there's still that common ground. ]
...started trying to be better for North, y'know. He was the first one I promised I'd try to do better with.
But this North— last time we talked, really talked, he said he barely fuckin' recognised me and he sounded— like he didn't like it? Or couldn't... believe it, maybe. 'cause it wasn't him that got through to me, 'cause he wasn't there.
Can't even blame him, considering how fuckin' long I spent lying to him about the Recovery thing. But that stung.
[ Dramatic sigh, a vague grabby hand. ]
Ugh, where's that alcohol you had? Swear I won't get ugly drunk.
no subject
Better. Yeah. [ she scrubs a hand over her face, breathes ] S'all about being better.
[ That was always what everyone on the rig, that Wash included, pushed her towards. Just doing better. That Wash once called her on refusing to even try to change because— "You think you're going to fuck up if you try to be something else, so you don't even try at all."
He wasn't wrong. It still took her another month and finding out about the experiment the Project did on her and North to start beginning to try. To hear all this from Wash is about the least surprising part of this interaction because she knows a little of how hard he had to push to get to where he is, because really the fact that Wash got as far as he has eventually became proof that she wouldn't be wasting her time trying. Even for all that they're different.
He wasn't the reason she finally tried to change, but he was certainly one of the catalysts in getting her there. So as strange as it is to be here, having this conversation, she's glad they can be. He's not that Wash, but there's still that common ground. ]
...started trying to be better for North, y'know. He was the first one I promised I'd try to do better with.
But this North— last time we talked, really talked, he said he barely fuckin' recognised me and he sounded— like he didn't like it? Or couldn't... believe it, maybe. 'cause it wasn't him that got through to me, 'cause he wasn't there.
Can't even blame him, considering how fuckin' long I spent lying to him about the Recovery thing. But that stung.
[ Dramatic sigh, a vague grabby hand. ]
Ugh, where's that alcohol you had? Swear I won't get ugly drunk.