Yeah. Yeah, you're not wrong. But fuck it's hard. Easier to like— tell myself other people deserve better from me than I deserve better from me? Y'know?

[ She gets the sense he might sort of get that, or something similar. She's not at a place where she can admit that maybe she kind of hates herself, where she can uncover that deep pool of self-loathing that's been filling itself up ever since the day she let North die and shot Wash in the back but has only gotten deeper since she stopped putting up a mask of not caring about what she did wrong.

She can't hate herself, she's gotten through life by aggressively putting herself first, with self-confidence and a 'fuck you, I don't care what you think' attitude—how can both those things exist in one person? Can they? Do they? ]

But I do— I do want to. I don't want to be that person. Fuck, I don't want to be that bitch that you shot, even though I know she was me. I'm not her anymore, it's...

[ She makes a vague noise and takes another swig. ]

Fuckin' universe hopping bullshit, man. Talk about a mindfuck.