Yeah, I know. Not— y'know, details, outside of the whole shooting me in the face and blowing me up thing, but...
[ Bits and pieces. Things about how he was terrorising the simulation troopers before they apparently adopted him. It's not like she ever got the full story, but parts of it came up, especially as that Wash's head was still in that era of his life for a while for complicated reasons she still doesn't fully understand. ]
That's the thing, y'know. I did all that shit, I lived all that, I own that now. I was a fucking monster the way I acted, but— I got yanked before I died, y'know. I'm not the woman who took that bullet. The me that took that bullet would never have done half the things I've done since, y'know? She wouldn't have changed for fuckin' anyone.
[ Not that she had the chance, but she didn't have that chance precisely because she wouldn't have ever taken it. She just kept barrelling ahead until she made whatever dumb choice lead her to be in front of Wash that day. ]
Don't even know what to do with that, half the time. Not like I didn't deserve that bullet. Not like I don't, 'cause I still did that stuff, I still let my brother die and shot you in the back and all that other shit.
M'just... trying not to be someone who'd do it again. [ then firmer ] I'm not someone who'd do it again.
no subject
Yeah, I know. Not— y'know, details, outside of the whole shooting me in the face and blowing me up thing, but...
[ Bits and pieces. Things about how he was terrorising the simulation troopers before they apparently adopted him. It's not like she ever got the full story, but parts of it came up, especially as that Wash's head was still in that era of his life for a while for complicated reasons she still doesn't fully understand. ]
That's the thing, y'know. I did all that shit, I lived all that, I own that now. I was a fucking monster the way I acted, but— I got yanked before I died, y'know. I'm not the woman who took that bullet. The me that took that bullet would never have done half the things I've done since, y'know? She wouldn't have changed for fuckin' anyone.
[ Not that she had the chance, but she didn't have that chance precisely because she wouldn't have ever taken it. She just kept barrelling ahead until she made whatever dumb choice lead her to be in front of Wash that day. ]
Don't even know what to do with that, half the time. Not like I didn't deserve that bullet. Not like I don't, 'cause I still did that stuff, I still let my brother die and shot you in the back and all that other shit.
M'just... trying not to be someone who'd do it again. [ then firmer ] I'm not someone who'd do it again.