[ fundamentally he still feels like he's facing everything in his head alone. he's never asked to talk about it. doesn't even know how it'd help. but natasha, clearly berating him -- puts that in a certain perspective. of course she'd want to help.
but it's -- hard. he always retreats away from people, when things get worse, when he feels the edges start to fray and the walls press even closer. he's afraid of lashing out, of hurting them. he's afraid of what overlapping memories might do if he looks at someone and sees someone else, where they should be. and with natasha, that's --
he takes a little longer to respond. ]
I never like talking about it.
[ it isn't personal. nothing to do with her. he's just handling it how he always has.
no subject
but it's -- hard. he always retreats away from people, when things get worse, when he feels the edges start to fray and the walls press even closer. he's afraid of lashing out, of hurting them. he's afraid of what overlapping memories might do if he looks at someone and sees someone else, where they should be. and with natasha, that's --
he takes a little longer to respond. ]
I never like talking about it.
[ it isn't personal. nothing to do with her. he's just handling it how he always has.
( it might have a little to do with her. ) ]