You're a soldier. Maybe not conscripted military, but some kind of soldier. [ wash doesn't actually know. ] There's a version of me who would've been one of the guards here, too.
[ though wash did defect twice and try to blow everything up multiple times! but, it is still part of him -- he defected twice, but it means he went back to them once, too. ]
I don't need to know the details of anything you may have done, but I'm sure some of what we struggle with has similar shades. I've been years removed from my war, and I still miss it. I know what kinds of things I've done and what kinds of things I'd still do. And for me, if anything, that's part of the control problem. It's less about controlling other people, and more about making sure I'm always in control of me, at any and all times.
[ he's simplifying, skating by details he'd really rather not discuss, but there is clear and definite truth to it. phrased that way, self-control doesn't seem like something that one would describe as a "problem", but well. wash has to go very far with it. ]
Rope's actually part of that, for me. For some, having control over someone else is most of the appeal, and there's nothing wrong with that -- it's not like I don't enjoy it. But if you were to boil it down, for me it's someone being willing to trust me, to give themselves over to me wholly, and then I get to take that trust and exercise control over them, and over myself.
You can watch me work. It you're willing to let me tie you, it doesn't have to be actually restraining or sexual in any way, I can just work with an arm, show and talk you through what I mean and teach you some of the ropework. You can invite someone with you if that'd make you more comfortable, to be tied instead or to just be present. The arcade I own has some private rooms for gaming purposes that might be a bit smaller but would be fine just for some light work, I can find a space in the city for hire, or you you could come over to mine.
[ not playful or fliratious, here, just simple, direct, professional. it is by nature somewhat intimate, so he can't exactly promise a lack of that, but there doesn't really have to be a sexual component to it unless d'artagnan actually wants it. ]
no subject
[ though wash did defect twice and try to blow everything up multiple times! but, it is still part of him -- he defected twice, but it means he went back to them once, too. ]
I don't need to know the details of anything you may have done, but I'm sure some of what we struggle with has similar shades. I've been years removed from my war, and I still miss it. I know what kinds of things I've done and what kinds of things I'd still do. And for me, if anything, that's part of the control problem. It's less about controlling other people, and more about making sure I'm always in control of me, at any and all times.
[ he's simplifying, skating by details he'd really rather not discuss, but there is clear and definite truth to it. phrased that way, self-control doesn't seem like something that one would describe as a "problem", but well. wash has to go very far with it. ]
Rope's actually part of that, for me. For some, having control over someone else is most of the appeal, and there's nothing wrong with that -- it's not like I don't enjoy it. But if you were to boil it down, for me it's someone being willing to trust me, to give themselves over to me wholly, and then I get to take that trust and exercise control over them, and over myself.
You can watch me work. It you're willing to let me tie you, it doesn't have to be actually restraining or sexual in any way, I can just work with an arm, show and talk you through what I mean and teach you some of the ropework. You can invite someone with you if that'd make you more comfortable, to be tied instead or to just be present. The arcade I own has some private rooms for gaming purposes that might be a bit smaller but would be fine just for some light work, I can find a space in the city for hire, or you you could come over to mine.
[ not playful or fliratious, here, just simple, direct, professional. it is by nature somewhat intimate, so he can't exactly promise a lack of that, but there doesn't really have to be a sexual component to it unless d'artagnan actually wants it. ]