[ an easily misunderstood statement, given that it's a bit out of nowhere and the grammar just kind of sounds off without context. he shakes his head, with a small, amused sound. ]
That was the end of the sentence. I can't forget. Anything.
Perfect memory. I wasn't born with it -- it's, ah. An unfortunate consequence of my time as a soldier. [ a half-shrug, leaning back slightly on the couch -- but his eyes, fixed on d'artagnan. too sharp, foo coused, as always. ] Everything I see, touch, hear, even for a moment, I have it perfectly memorized for as long as I'll live.
[ he'll let that rest a bit to let d'artagnan consider the implications of it. they're both soldiers, and while wash hasn't talked about his experience, war is war, no matter what world its in. the things wash has done, they aren't far-off memories. they always feel fresh. like some of the worst things he's done only happened minutes ago. ]
It's part of my control problem.
[ not nearly all of it, but. enough to give d'artagnan an idea.
given d'artagnan's questions and confusion, wash is of the belief that discussions about the concept of power dynamics and control aren't needed, because d'artagnan already knows them -- and of fucking course he does, when he's been living in this city for as long as he has. he just struggles to see what he himself might want in it, if anything, to see how he might fit in it. the solution wash is arriving at, partially in response to d'artagnan's earlier honesty, is to instead be extremely specific to his own experience. where it comes from, how he'd gotten there, what he gets out of it, where his uncertainties lie.
but he's here to give d'artagnan that understanding, not to make him play therapist. so while he gives him time to wrap his head around the idea, he's not going to let it rest for too long before at least making sure they'll stay on that point. ]
It's a lot of why I ended up getting into this, even before I arrived here.
no subject
That was the end of the sentence. I can't forget. Anything.
Perfect memory. I wasn't born with it -- it's, ah. An unfortunate consequence of my time as a soldier. [ a half-shrug, leaning back slightly on the couch -- but his eyes, fixed on d'artagnan. too sharp, foo coused, as always. ] Everything I see, touch, hear, even for a moment, I have it perfectly memorized for as long as I'll live.
[ he'll let that rest a bit to let d'artagnan consider the implications of it. they're both soldiers, and while wash hasn't talked about his experience, war is war, no matter what world its in. the things wash has done, they aren't far-off memories. they always feel fresh. like some of the worst things he's done only happened minutes ago. ]
It's part of my control problem.
[ not nearly all of it, but. enough to give d'artagnan an idea.
given d'artagnan's questions and confusion, wash is of the belief that discussions about the concept of power dynamics and control aren't needed, because d'artagnan already knows them -- and of fucking course he does, when he's been living in this city for as long as he has. he just struggles to see what he himself might want in it, if anything, to see how he might fit in it. the solution wash is arriving at, partially in response to d'artagnan's earlier honesty, is to instead be extremely specific to his own experience. where it comes from, how he'd gotten there, what he gets out of it, where his uncertainties lie.
but he's here to give d'artagnan that understanding, not to make him play therapist. so while he gives him time to wrap his head around the idea, he's not going to let it rest for too long before at least making sure they'll stay on that point. ]
It's a lot of why I ended up getting into this, even before I arrived here.