Yeah. It’s real fuckin’ weird. I don’t… wasn’t the same for me as you, ‘course. But the fuckin whiplash with North was…
[ She shakes her head. She never really had time to move on from losing him, the first time. The months between that day and her death were full of mourning, but not moving on. She’s not sure she ever really would’ve moved on, even if she’d lived, because she’s not sure she ever will now. Knowing it was her own fault he was dead at all, just… it changes things. ]
You think you’re done with something, then you get yanked to another universe and all that shit you put in the ground gets dug back up.
…literally, I guess. Y’know. Dead bodies, the ground… [ she gestures vaguely with the bottle, nods her head side to side to match, pauses ] Ugh. Sorry, that’s morbid.
[ a low amused sound, not exactly ungenuine, but a little hollow. ]
Nothing too morbid, South. I'm the one who had to confirm identities and blow up bodies.
[ personally did it for both North and York, after all. and also, south herself, though the circumstances were. different. he still doesn't quite feel comfy enough to actually talk about that with her -- they have a good thing going and he really doesn't want to risk that. ]
I knew they were dead. Knew. Watched chunks flying off into the air myself. And then -- this place, and now.
[ just. a vague helpless gesture. things really, really aren't supposed to work this way. ]
[ There's a definite flinch when the 'watched chunks flying off' bit comes out of his mouth because but also one of those was her brother and okay, it was her fault he was dead, but she did very specifically not watch that. But she doesn't draw any more attention to it than that, besides maybe the way she goes for another swig from the bottle. ]
I watched one of 'em die, so. Yeah, I get it. It's fucked up. Just— eternally fucked up. Really wish I could promise you got used to it. For all we fuckin' know another version of 'em could rock up one day and...
[ sorry south, you brought up being morbid. he notes the reaction, but -- it's best not to draw attention to it either way. he closes his eyes -- what would he do if one of them just showed up again right now? he'd be glad to see them, he would, but. ghosts and memories and phantoms. ]
Carolina wasn't dead, at least.
[ that loss hits him harder. because for the longest time he'd been the last and then suddenly he wasn't, because of how much more shit they've been through together, how they'd helped each other to find ways to bury their hatchets, or at least put them aside for now. ]
Me and ‘Lina? Getting on pretty good, I think. I mean, y’know, she apparently trusted me enough to not fuck up her life if she signed on with me.
And, y’know, we— yeah.
[ Not actually going to get into their brief sex life, because it feels weird, but yeah. Carolina’s hot, what can she say; she was hot in Freelancer and that sure hadn’t changed. And when it comes to just sex? South’s type is firmly ‘woman who could kick my ass’. So. ]
Think we woulda found some kinda weird normal, after a while. We sparred and shit, y’know, and I know from the ‘Lina I knew before that we sorta… get each other, if you poke deep enough.
Really sorry she’s gone. Know it’s just you two, in the future.
[ he nods. he doesn't want to be weird about it or anything, but when he heard that the two of them had contracted, it just seemed like it made sense. he could trust them both to take care of each other, and all the better if they were finding a genuine happiness and stability out of it. ]
I'm glad that it was working out for you two -- sorry she's gone, too.
[ and north. and the rest of them. he sighs, dropping his head, running a hand over his face. ]
I've been alone before. Spent a lot of time thinking I really was all that's left -- turns out that wasn't true. Still isn't true now. [ glancing sidelong at her, with a wry kind of smile. ] Don't go disappearing on me.
[ . . . and he starts to make a joke about how he'll hunt her down for it but, uh. it's still not the most comfortable thing to joke about. so he stops himself. ]
[ She tips her head his way to acknowledge the returned— condolences, or whatever you want to call them. Not like there’s a neat word for this situation. ]
Y’want me to pinky swear it?
[ The grin that she flashes him could definitely be described as shit-eating. Hey, she’s still a shit, they both know this. She’ll fill the gap of whatever was gonna come out of his mouth with something else joking. But it settles into something a little less cheeky, after a second. ]
Nah, you’re not gonna get rid of me that easy. Don’t think the universe would let either of us get off that scot-free anyway.
[ it'd be weird if she wasn't at least a bit of a shit about it. he rolls his eyes, but not out of genuine irritation, turning away again to look back up at the stars overhead. ]
Yeah?
What kind of fucked up shit do you think it'll try and pull on us next? I swear I've seen the fucking lot, by now.
Guess all we can do is take the sex-obsessed dystopia day by day and see if any dead people might show up or not.
[ while wash is still very stubborn, about he is slowly starting to resign himself to the idea that he apparently is well and truly stuck in the sex city. ]
Yep. Day by fuckin' day. Contract by fuckin' contract. This is our lives now.
[ South's given up on the idea of ever getting home in any way that doesn't end in her face-to-face with a Wash that still hates her and a pistol, and yet accepting the permanence of this place has only gotten harder since North vanished. It's so damned hard to imagine being without him forever. It's so damned hard to imagine a forever, at all. ]
not me saying i wanted to finish this cleanly and then PROMPTLY FORGETTING
[ but maybe that's just. what it is. he's done a lot less than he could have to settle in here -- and in some ways, a lot less than he should have. stubbornness. refusing to think that this really is what things are. the idea that somehow there was a way out. and he wants to ask, starts to ask if she thinks they're stuck here, if this is all there is, but.
wash has something to go back to. south -- kind of does, but it might be going back to a bullet from the end of his pistol, depending on what going back entails. and north, and york, well. ]
-- But I guess that might be what it is. [ a sigh, rubbing his hand over his face. slowly, he pushes himself upright, taking a few moments to stretch himself out a little before he turns around and offers a hand to help her up. ] Come on. We've been out here a while.
[ But it is what it is even if she hates it. She’ll always resent the universe for dragging her away from the one chance to go home and not face a damn bullet, the chance to go home and live with Wash and Carolina and their weirdo friends, but she can’t do fuck shit about it.
She’ll live. She has some people here, at least, even now. Ducky and apparently Wash, mostly, but it’s— it’s something. It’s being alive and not totally alone. ]
But here we fuckin’ are.
[ She takes the hand when it’s offered, after only the slightest moment of instinctual hesitation. Stretches her arms above her head after she’s on her feet and leans against the wall for a moment to test her leg, but she’s fine, now. They’ve been sat down long enough it doesn’t hurt anymore. ]
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no subject
Yeah. It’s real fuckin’ weird. I don’t… wasn’t the same for me as you, ‘course. But the fuckin whiplash with North was…
[ She shakes her head. She never really had time to move on from losing him, the first time. The months between that day and her death were full of mourning, but not moving on. She’s not sure she ever really would’ve moved on, even if she’d lived, because she’s not sure she ever will now. Knowing it was her own fault he was dead at all, just… it changes things. ]
You think you’re done with something, then you get yanked to another universe and all that shit you put in the ground gets dug back up.
…literally, I guess. Y’know. Dead bodies, the ground… [ she gestures vaguely with the bottle, nods her head side to side to match, pauses ] Ugh. Sorry, that’s morbid.
no subject
Nothing too morbid, South. I'm the one who had to confirm identities and blow up bodies.
[ personally did it for both North and York, after all. and also, south herself, though the circumstances were. different. he still doesn't quite feel comfy enough to actually talk about that with her -- they have a good thing going and he really doesn't want to risk that. ]
I knew they were dead. Knew. Watched chunks flying off into the air myself. And then -- this place, and now.
[ just. a vague helpless gesture. things really, really aren't supposed to work this way. ]
no subject
[ There's a definite flinch when the 'watched chunks flying off' bit comes out of his mouth because but also one of those was her brother and okay, it was her fault he was dead, but she did very specifically not watch that. But she doesn't draw any more attention to it than that, besides maybe the way she goes for another swig from the bottle. ]
I watched one of 'em die, so. Yeah, I get it. It's fucked up. Just— eternally fucked up. Really wish I could promise you got used to it. For all we fuckin' know another version of 'em could rock up one day and...
Don't think it'll be any less weird if they did.
no subject
Carolina wasn't dead, at least.
[ that loss hits him harder. because for the longest time he'd been the last and then suddenly he wasn't, because of how much more shit they've been through together, how they'd helped each other to find ways to bury their hatchets, or at least put them aside for now. ]
-- How were you two getting on, anyway?
[ he kind of deliberately didn't ask about it. ]
no subject
Me and ‘Lina? Getting on pretty good, I think. I mean, y’know, she apparently trusted me enough to not fuck up her life if she signed on with me.
And, y’know, we— yeah.
[ Not actually going to get into their brief sex life, because it feels weird, but yeah. Carolina’s hot, what can she say; she was hot in Freelancer and that sure hadn’t changed. And when it comes to just sex? South’s type is firmly ‘woman who could kick my ass’. So. ]
Think we woulda found some kinda weird normal, after a while. We sparred and shit, y’know, and I know from the ‘Lina I knew before that we sorta… get each other, if you poke deep enough.
Really sorry she’s gone. Know it’s just you two, in the future.
no subject
I'm glad that it was working out for you two -- sorry she's gone, too.
[ and north. and the rest of them. he sighs, dropping his head, running a hand over his face. ]
I've been alone before. Spent a lot of time thinking I really was all that's left -- turns out that wasn't true. Still isn't true now. [ glancing sidelong at her, with a wry kind of smile. ] Don't go disappearing on me.
[ . . . and he starts to make a joke about how he'll hunt her down for it but, uh. it's still not the most comfortable thing to joke about. so he stops himself. ]
no subject
[ She tips her head his way to acknowledge the returned— condolences, or whatever you want to call them. Not like there’s a neat word for this situation. ]
Y’want me to pinky swear it?
[ The grin that she flashes him could definitely be described as shit-eating. Hey, she’s still a shit, they both know this. She’ll fill the gap of whatever was gonna come out of his mouth with something else joking. But it settles into something a little less cheeky, after a second. ]
Nah, you’re not gonna get rid of me that easy. Don’t think the universe would let either of us get off that scot-free anyway.
no subject
Yeah?
What kind of fucked up shit do you think it'll try and pull on us next? I swear I've seen the fucking lot, by now.
no subject
Dude, we’re stuck in a sex-obsessed dystopia, do you really wanna ask that question? There is just so fucking much. Literally so fucking much.
[ She’s joking but also is she. Is she. Is she. ]
And anyway beware the power of jinxing shit. There are absolutely more awkward dead people that could turn up without even dipping into the same pool.
no subject
Point taken.
Guess all we can do is take the sex-obsessed dystopia day by day and see if any dead people might show up or not.
[ while wash is still very stubborn, about he is slowly starting to resign himself to the idea that he apparently is well and truly stuck in the sex city. ]
no subject
Yep. Day by fuckin' day. Contract by fuckin' contract. This is our lives now.
[ South's given up on the idea of ever getting home in any way that doesn't end in her face-to-face with a Wash that still hates her and a pistol, and yet accepting the permanence of this place has only gotten harder since North vanished. It's so damned hard to imagine being without him forever. It's so damned hard to imagine a forever, at all. ]
not me saying i wanted to finish this cleanly and then PROMPTLY FORGETTING
[ but maybe that's just. what it is. he's done a lot less than he could have to settle in here -- and in some ways, a lot less than he should have. stubbornness. refusing to think that this really is what things are. the idea that somehow there was a way out. and he wants to ask, starts to ask if she thinks they're stuck here, if this is all there is, but.
wash has something to go back to. south -- kind of does, but it might be going back to a bullet from the end of his pistol, depending on what going back entails. and north, and york, well. ]
-- But I guess that might be what it is. [ a sigh, rubbing his hand over his face. slowly, he pushes himself upright, taking a few moments to stretch himself out a little before he turns around and offers a hand to help her up. ] Come on. We've been out here a while.
Relatable
Yeah. You and me both.
[ But it is what it is even if she hates it. She’ll always resent the universe for dragging her away from the one chance to go home and not face a damn bullet, the chance to go home and live with Wash and Carolina and their weirdo friends, but she can’t do fuck shit about it.
She’ll live. She has some people here, at least, even now. Ducky and apparently Wash, mostly, but it’s— it’s something. It’s being alive and not totally alone. ]
But here we fuckin’ are.
[ She takes the hand when it’s offered, after only the slightest moment of instinctual hesitation. Stretches her arms above her head after she’s on her feet and leans against the wall for a moment to test her leg, but she’s fine, now. They’ve been sat down long enough it doesn’t hurt anymore. ]
…thanks.