[ as far as he's concerned, that felix is playing the long con in order to eventually murder crais for fun or profit or alien prejudice is entirely possible. there's just not much of a point in warning crais about the possibility, he'd already know. ]
You'd think that if I tried to kill him before your well-laid plans came to fruition, you'd be pissed. Do you just want me off of your mark?
[ but he doesn't really think crais is just one of felix's marks. the possibility is there, but he doesn't believe it's the case. ]
you know you're the only man outside of ortez i've ever let fuck me on my front? that i've ever let have my back like that? sometimes i think abt it what it felt like
[ well he wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it wasn't that.
the memories are vivid, they always are. flickers of felix stretched out beneath him, bent over under him, above him, everywhere. the feel of his throat bubbling under his palm when he chokes him, the bright red line he'd draw across his pale skin as he dragged a knife across his chest, the arch of his back and the sound he'd make, breathless around his name, when wash twists his fingers through his hair and pulls. a perfectly remembered not-quite-dream. after that, too. even recently. going back to his room after dropping off felix at a hotel, jerking off in the shower with his shoulder still bleeding out before he'd went to tend to his wounds.
this fucker. ]
Someone's gotten their memory back.
[ he always remembered. he should have known. ]
You were always a good fuck. It felt good. Especially when I had you flat on your front. You'd squirm, when I pulled your hair just right. I'd fill you up over and over and you'd beg me for it while trying to claw my eyes out.
( he never forgot. the memories are hazy and faraway, like staring up at the sky from inside a tomb of murky water; he can't see it clearly, just impressions. the vague outline of clouds. a hint of blue. sunlight dappling a distant surface. enough for it to matter. enough for a nuclear arsenal. felix sits in silence and smokes through two and a half cigarettes, snuffed out on a cheap ashtray lifted from one of the many seedy, nameless bars in the down.
some people fall for love. some people fall for sex. luckily, felix knows how to craft a scalpel from both. )
i want it i think about you fucking my mouth spitting cum on your dick making you fuck me like that still soft still full of you your dick inside me fucking myself with my fingers just to feel you fuck me
[ wash hangs on every word, and he absolutely fucking hates that he does.
he knows himself, has been perfectly aware from the start that he was drawn to felix in some awful, bone-deep way. it's not really about how he shouldn't be, because he's long ago accepted that being a good, better person isn't really in the cards for him. he just knew felix wouldn't hesitate to use it. the same way wash had cut through to what he knew he needed to do to weaken felix, too, on chorus. to weaken them both.
knowing doesn't make it go away, though. it just makes him a little different from any other fry chasing the bait -- he can see the jaws, feel the teeth. it doesn't matter. he's here. ]
Once I tied you up and fucked your mouth with a pistol and made you lick the barrel until you came.
[ and then he'd slapped him, dragged him up by the hair, shoved him face down against the floor to come inside him. ]
( hook, line, sinker. it would've felt good once. satisfying. now, felix stares impassively out his window from his apartment in the down and lights another cigarette. )
i want you on top of me i want your hands on my throat i want you to fuck me stupid i want you to lick your cum out of me
[ this fucker. it still works, wash is turned on as hell reading it, and even if he's half-expecting the turn it still hits him a little in his chest. ]
Rig needed patching up after you put a knife through it. You know as well as I do that shit's not easy to fix.
[ even the very first thing he did in this city, the warm welcome that felix had been so kind to give him, had involved felix nearly driving a knife into his throat. and he'd walked away from that painfully turned on, too. ]
I told him that you had plenty of motive to kill me. He knew enough to take an educated guess.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
shitty hindsight and foresight, david
you're a poor gambler
no subject
[ as far as he's concerned, that felix is playing the long con in order to eventually murder crais for fun or profit or alien prejudice is entirely possible. there's just not much of a point in warning crais about the possibility, he'd already know. ]
You'd think that if I tried to kill him before your well-laid plans came to fruition, you'd be pissed. Do you just want me off of your mark?
[ but he doesn't really think crais is just one of felix's marks. the possibility is there, but he doesn't believe it's the case. ]
no subject
my mark, my business
what did you tell him?
no subject
Does it matter?
no subject
if it didn't matter i wouldn't be asking
he told me some things
no subject
no subject
( wait for it. )
you know you're the only man outside of ortez i've ever let fuck me on my front? that i've ever let have my back like that?
sometimes i think abt it
what it felt like
i want to hear it from you
no subject
the memories are vivid, they always are. flickers of felix stretched out beneath him, bent over under him, above him, everywhere. the feel of his throat bubbling under his palm when he chokes him, the bright red line he'd draw across his pale skin as he dragged a knife across his chest, the arch of his back and the sound he'd make, breathless around his name, when wash twists his fingers through his hair and pulls. a perfectly remembered not-quite-dream. after that, too. even recently. going back to his room after dropping off felix at a hotel, jerking off in the shower with his shoulder still bleeding out before he'd went to tend to his wounds.
this fucker. ]
Someone's gotten their memory back.
[ he always remembered. he should have known. ]
You were always a good fuck. It felt good.
Especially when I had you flat on your front. You'd squirm, when I pulled your hair just right.
I'd fill you up over and over and you'd beg me for it while trying to claw my eyes out.
no subject
some people fall for love. some people fall for sex. luckily, felix knows how to craft a scalpel from both. )
i want it
i think about you fucking my mouth
spitting cum on your dick
making you fuck me like that
still soft
still full of you
your dick inside me
fucking myself with my fingers just to feel you fuck me
all of it
everything
no subject
he knows himself, has been perfectly aware from the start that he was drawn to felix in some awful, bone-deep way. it's not really about how he shouldn't be, because he's long ago accepted that being a good, better person isn't really in the cards for him. he just knew felix wouldn't hesitate to use it. the same way wash had cut through to what he knew he needed to do to weaken felix, too, on chorus. to weaken them both.
knowing doesn't make it go away, though. it just makes him a little different from any other fry chasing the bait -- he can see the jaws, feel the teeth. it doesn't matter. he's here. ]
Once I tied you up and fucked your mouth with a pistol and made you lick the barrel until you came.
[ and then he'd slapped him, dragged him up by the hair, shoved him face down against the floor to come inside him. ]
What the fuck do you want, Felix?
1/2
i want you on top of me
i want your hands on my throat
i want you to fuck me stupid
i want you to lick your cum out of me
no subject
captain bialar crais
verbatim
no subject
Rig needed patching up after you put a knife through it. You know as well as I do that shit's not easy to fix.
What did he tell you?
no subject
no subject
Aren't you surprised you haven't killed me yet?
no subject
you tell him what you did? back on chorus?
no subject
[ even the very first thing he did in this city, the warm welcome that felix had been so kind to give him, had involved felix nearly driving a knife into his throat. and he'd walked away from that painfully turned on, too. ]
I told him that you had plenty of motive to kill me. He knew enough to take an educated guess.