( he hesitates. or — because it feels to intentional to really be a hesitation, and washington is nothing if not intentional — he pauses. she hasn't caught him by surprise; he's too smart to not have put 2 and 2 together with her text. still, he responds to her the way he always does. pulse, elevated. an sudden intake of breath. he wants her, but she's been wanted so often by so many that it hardly feels noteworthy.
what is noteworthy, what makes all the difference is he doesn't leap at the opportunity with both hands. his fingertip brushes the hollow of her throat, curves through the ring and she forces a breath, swell of her breasts pressing against his knuckles. she's offering herself on a platter, they both know it, and still he pauses. holds her hand. watches her, carefully, and she knows he's looking for any sign of hesitation. had he reacted differently, she'd have had a hell of a lot to show him. there's still a flicker of regret in her eyes, though; what could they have been without this? without the program, without the contract? if they'd met under different circumstances?
they'd never know. )
They changed the rules of the game. ( 'they' being the creator. the new guidelines for submissives, including the collar around her neck. she needs to be with someone who understands that more than they understand her. who won't blink when she tries to take this entire system down from the inside.
his hand is warm against her skin, calloused. natasha shivers again, nails biting into the back of his hand where their palms are pressed together. she knows her heart is beating fast in her chest, eyes dilating in a way he won't fail to notice. )
I'm sure. ( she worries her lower lip with her teeth, letting out the last bit of tension in her shoulders, searching his eyes. he hasn't said yes, yet. he might not say yes. ) If you'll have me.
[ they did change the rules, and it does make a difference -- but maybe not too much of one. of course it matters, gone from something that would've been easy to write off, sign some paperwork and simply live separate lives to this. a deeper obligation. a collar. but as much as wash might've played lightly at the idea of contracts before, there was still always a level of calculation to it. careful detachment. he'd stayed with a year with a man he absolutely could not trust, knowing it the whole time. making any kind of commitment to any kind of real trust. it would've mattered too much even then.
even more with her. because they've seen enough of each other, just through their back and forth, quiet mutual recognition in each other's patterns, to painful truths pulled from somewhere deep and dark that night on the beach -- more than enough to know that they both see things more alike than not. others trust easily, and wash may feel strange around it, but he knows that's simply because -- they're wrong. allowed to be naïve, because people like him exist to be more careful where it's needed. but natasha isn't that, they're both probably too careful, and.
its deliberate. every single thing. natasha shivers again, her pulse starting to race, something darkening in her eyes. wash fully believes she could make all of that happen just by choice, if she wanted. but she's not, and he believes that, fully, and he peels back his own layers in turn, lets her hear and feel the hitch in his breath, the quiet rumble that starts in the back of his throat. he leans even closer, that distance between them closing even more. there's always something hawkish in his gaze, too sharp, too focused, taking in every single detail around him -- but now that focus is entirely on her, hungry, wanting. but searching, still. searching, for any doubt, hesitation -- and recognizing that she's searching for the same in him, too.
there's a plunge to take. ]
Yeah. [ a beat. he can feel his heartbeat in his ears. his grip tightens over her, hand, then relaxes again. a flicker of tension. and again, more sure, as his hand against that collar slides up -- he could pull her forward by it, could hook his fingers into the leather or into that ring. but he's making a point, here, as his hand settles against her nape, as he uses that to pull her even closer. no more searching, in his gaze, just. fact. ] Yes.
We'll do this.
[ the yes was supposed to be the hard part, but natasha is certainly close enough to notice some uncertainty in him again when he says we -- but it's a plunge. he sticks with it. and he waits for just a moment, to see her response, but -- not too long before that hand at the back of her neck hauls her even closer, almost into his lap, his other hand finally pulling away from hers just so he can lift it to her face, pressing his thumb against her lower lip and pulling her in for a kiss. ]
Edited (honestly literally just for the word naive) 2023-10-11 16:29 (UTC)
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what is noteworthy, what makes all the difference is he doesn't leap at the opportunity with both hands. his fingertip brushes the hollow of her throat, curves through the ring and she forces a breath, swell of her breasts pressing against his knuckles. she's offering herself on a platter, they both know it, and still he pauses. holds her hand. watches her, carefully, and she knows he's looking for any sign of hesitation. had he reacted differently, she'd have had a hell of a lot to show him. there's still a flicker of regret in her eyes, though; what could they have been without this? without the program, without the contract? if they'd met under different circumstances?
they'd never know. )
They changed the rules of the game. ( 'they' being the creator. the new guidelines for submissives, including the collar around her neck. she needs to be with someone who understands that more than they understand her. who won't blink when she tries to take this entire system down from the inside.
his hand is warm against her skin, calloused. natasha shivers again, nails biting into the back of his hand where their palms are pressed together. she knows her heart is beating fast in her chest, eyes dilating in a way he won't fail to notice. )
I'm sure. ( she worries her lower lip with her teeth, letting out the last bit of tension in her shoulders, searching his eyes. he hasn't said yes, yet. he might not say yes. ) If you'll have me.
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even more with her. because they've seen enough of each other, just through their back and forth, quiet mutual recognition in each other's patterns, to painful truths pulled from somewhere deep and dark that night on the beach -- more than enough to know that they both see things more alike than not. others trust easily, and wash may feel strange around it, but he knows that's simply because -- they're wrong. allowed to be naïve, because people like him exist to be more careful where it's needed. but natasha isn't that, they're both probably too careful, and.
its deliberate. every single thing. natasha shivers again, her pulse starting to race, something darkening in her eyes. wash fully believes she could make all of that happen just by choice, if she wanted. but she's not, and he believes that, fully, and he peels back his own layers in turn, lets her hear and feel the hitch in his breath, the quiet rumble that starts in the back of his throat. he leans even closer, that distance between them closing even more. there's always something hawkish in his gaze, too sharp, too focused, taking in every single detail around him -- but now that focus is entirely on her, hungry, wanting. but searching, still. searching, for any doubt, hesitation -- and recognizing that she's searching for the same in him, too.
there's a plunge to take. ]
Yeah. [ a beat. he can feel his heartbeat in his ears. his grip tightens over her, hand, then relaxes again. a flicker of tension. and again, more sure, as his hand against that collar slides up -- he could pull her forward by it, could hook his fingers into the leather or into that ring. but he's making a point, here, as his hand settles against her nape, as he uses that to pull her even closer. no more searching, in his gaze, just. fact. ] Yes.
We'll do this.
[ the yes was supposed to be the hard part, but natasha is certainly close enough to notice some uncertainty in him again when he says we -- but it's a plunge. he sticks with it. and he waits for just a moment, to see her response, but -- not too long before that hand at the back of her neck hauls her even closer, almost into his lap, his other hand finally pulling away from hers just so he can lift it to her face, pressing his thumb against her lower lip and pulling her in for a kiss. ]
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