[ the times that eddie's been sober with wash have come from necessity, when he can't compartmentalize somber or sad emotions. what he feels generally tumbles out before he could think to catch up with it, earnest regarding his feelings and desires. most of what he's serious about has healthy playfulness woven in, too -- dungeons and dragons, music. with wash, more serious tones have come when he's desperate, needy, but always when sex is involved. it's taken some adjustment to put aspects about contracts into perspective, to push past the obvious want of liking being around him for all the reasons he knows they both enjoy.
there's a breath of relief at first, then a pull of a face over the distinction that wash decides to make. only a bit of attitude really, and with that edge comes appreciation. ]
Yeah, I have. Guess I really didn't think about it beyond a point when I first asked you. [ a given, but it's still not easy to admit. ] Thanks, for looking out for me.
Since we all have to have a contract if we want to actually feel like we're living a life here, then I want a Dom that I can trust, that I know. I know there's still a lot to learn about each other, but I know enough to feel justified in trusting you. I've lived with people I couldn't trust. My own dad was a piece of work. And I trusted, really cared about, Juliette. I care about you.
I've thought about other people I could sign with, too. I don't know about the trusting them part as much though, and. I feel safe with you. And then some of them have a couple subs already. [ doesn't wanna impose, you know how it goes. ]
I don't really think you thought I like...expected something from you before, not when you already give me so much without a contract. But I wouldn't actually expect you to do anything other than what the city asks you to, or what you'd wanna do, I mean. I don't wanna be an imposition, I mean. I don't think I'd be. [ only a little rambling! he's...doing his best here, wash. ]
Will you sign with me? [ straight from would to will, before all of that is even reacted to. he's done a lot of thinking, but he's still eager. ]
[ aw. you're sweet, eddie. and wash doesn't know if he's entirely deserving of the trust, but he's treated eddie well so far, and is trying to do right by him. but especially eddie mentioning his family back home, that he's lived with people he couldn't trust . . . that drives it home a little. ]
You're really sweet, Eddie. Thank you for trusting me.
You know I have another submissive contracted, yeah? Natasha. I don't know how long she's intending on renewing with me for, but she's been living with me since the rules changed. I will at minimum need to talk to her before I commit to signing with you, and you do need to understand that she'll be around. My dynamic with you is pretty different from with her, I wouldn't want to make things too strange for either of you.
[ THAT'S JUST IMPORTANT TO GET OUT OF THE WAY. ]
You're not imposing yourself, and you're not going to be trouble. The contract's a thing based in Duplicity. We're subject to their laws as long as we're here. But the fact that you trust me, that I'll look out for you how I can. Those things don't need a contract behind them.
But while we can talk about how you won't expect anything more from me, the reality of the situation we're in means that there will be expectations of me and from you as a result of the contract. We may not want them, but they will be there; we both have to understand that. It can make things difficult.
[ eddie's venn diagram full of the options of doms he could've approached, well...it hadn't been THAT extensive, even though he'd really thought about everyone he knows! he'd heard advice about contracting with someone he has less of a connection with, but immediately decided that just wouldn't be for him. and, wash has only ever been very good to him. ]
Hey, I wouldn't if you weren't good to me, so thank you for that.
Yeah, I know about her. She's Yelena's sister, right? I've seen her a couple times, talked to her on the network before. She seems nice. Of course you'd have to talk to her first. Sorry. I wouldn't want things to be weird for her because of me, and I didn't think you'd just sign with me without talking to her first. I do get ahead of myself sometimes. [ often. ] Wouldn't be weird for me. Juliette had another Sub when I signed with her. Didn't intrude on his or their business.
I do know that those aren't city or contract conditional. They're just you and me. [ trust and looking out for that eddie's come to expect from wash, which is comforting. ]
My whole life has been difficult, Wash. In different ways, yeah, but I'm used to hardship, dealing with rough shit that's unavoidable. I understand that it could get bad. It never did with Juliette, but it's obvious when the tides turn. Even if I didn't see it at first. I mean getting complacent when you're having fun is easy, right? If shit gets really bad, then at least I'd be going through it with you, rather than someone else who might have a big fat question mark on whether I'm not sure if they'd like willfully hurt me or something. I know you wouldn't do that. Is that what you mean by difficult? That we could get hurt?
I just think it's complicated. A lot of people have learned to live and even be happy with the rules of this place, and it's given a lot of second chances to people who otherwise might not have much of a choice. That's easy enough, for now, but the city's already showing that they're willing to tighten their grip, and I just don't think they're going to stop there.
[ a longer pause here before another message, and sigh. ]
Myself, Natasha, my neighbors, we get into some shit from time to time. I know you're going to say you won't mind, but I'll still worry about it. I also just worry about this being just a little weird, for you, but. I know you wont mind that either.
Well it sure isn’t simple. Better to be with someone I trust when it gets harder, isn’t it?
You’re worried I’ll be collateral damage by existing in the same space as you? That could happen whether we were contracted or not, just with how this place is and with how we’re designated.
You’re right, that I don’t mind some weirdness. It’s who I am. You worried it’s gonna be a kind of weird that’ll put me off or something?
Yeah, I have. Really like her a lot, too. We get along well. [ surprising no one. ]
[ you're a good cute sweet kid and he likes you and he worries about dropping you into the middle of a bunch of war-damaged soldiers and spies, even if you won't see it that way. but it's fine. ]
Of course you do. She's handful, and can treat my house as an extension of hers. South isn't over as often, but there's that.
There's a lot I'm worried about, but at the end of the day. We'll figure it out, Eddie. I'll talk to Natasha when I get a chance, and you should maybe draft up something with Elle if you haven't already.
[ at the end of the day, eddie has thought this through, wash likes him enough to want to look out for him, and eddie is always free to recontract with someone else if circumstances change. ]
[ eddie likes being around people. anyone who treats him with basic human respect, and there’s a solid 100% positive rate of impressions with people he knows in this little two house neighborhood. so, no matter their pasts, of course he thinks he’ll be just fine being around them all. ]
Hm, I guess that’s the mystery of the hello kitty sticker solved, huh? :)
Well, you can tell me when you’re worried about something, especially if it has to do with me. I’m here to talk and listen.
Okay. Yeah, I’ll do that. Elle already told me she’d help me.
I do feel safe with you. You’re considerate and respectful. Strong. Plus there’s lots of wild shit out there you could’ve had me doing with you already before I knew anything about it. [ been doin some kink research. ] Not everyone would care about being there like I may need, ya know. There’s lots of creeps out there, probably. But you take time for me, so yeah. I’m safe with you. I know it’d be like that in other ways, just living life, too. More hands off probably :) but still. Safe. It’d be nice.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
there's a breath of relief at first, then a pull of a face over the distinction that wash decides to make. only a bit of attitude really, and with that edge comes appreciation. ]
Yeah, I have. Guess I really didn't think about it beyond a point when I first asked you. [ a given, but it's still not easy to admit. ] Thanks, for looking out for me.
Since we all have to have a contract if we want to actually feel like we're living a life here, then I want a Dom that I can trust, that I know. I know there's still a lot to learn about each other, but I know enough to feel justified in trusting you. I've lived with people I couldn't trust. My own dad was a piece of work. And I trusted, really cared about, Juliette. I care about you.
I've thought about other people I could sign with, too. I don't know about the trusting them part as much though, and. I feel safe with you. And then some of them have a couple subs already. [ doesn't wanna impose, you know how it goes. ]
I don't really think you thought I like...expected something from you before, not when you already give me so much without a contract. But I wouldn't actually expect you to do anything other than what the city asks you to, or what you'd wanna do, I mean. I don't wanna be an imposition, I mean. I don't think I'd be. [ only a little rambling! he's...doing his best here, wash. ]
Will you sign with me? [ straight from would to will, before all of that is even reacted to. he's done a lot of thinking, but he's still eager. ]
no subject
You're really sweet, Eddie. Thank you for trusting me.
You know I have another submissive contracted, yeah? Natasha. I don't know how long she's intending on renewing with me for, but she's been living with me since the rules changed. I will at minimum need to talk to her before I commit to signing with you, and you do need to understand that she'll be around. My dynamic with you is pretty different from with her, I wouldn't want to make things too strange for either of you.
[ THAT'S JUST IMPORTANT TO GET OUT OF THE WAY. ]
You're not imposing yourself, and you're not going to be trouble. The contract's a thing based in Duplicity. We're subject to their laws as long as we're here. But the fact that you trust me, that I'll look out for you how I can. Those things don't need a contract behind them.
But while we can talk about how you won't expect anything more from me, the reality of the situation we're in means that there will be expectations of me and from you as a result of the contract. We may not want them, but they will be there; we both have to understand that. It can make things difficult.
no subject
Hey, I wouldn't if you weren't good to me, so thank you for that.
Yeah, I know about her. She's Yelena's sister, right? I've seen her a couple times, talked to her on the network before. She seems nice. Of course you'd have to talk to her first. Sorry. I wouldn't want things to be weird for her because of me, and I didn't think you'd just sign with me without talking to her first. I do get ahead of myself sometimes. [ often. ] Wouldn't be weird for me. Juliette had another Sub when I signed with her. Didn't intrude on his or their business.
I do know that those aren't city or contract conditional. They're just you and me. [ trust and looking out for that eddie's come to expect from wash, which is comforting. ]
My whole life has been difficult, Wash. In different ways, yeah, but I'm used to hardship, dealing with rough shit that's unavoidable. I understand that it could get bad. It never did with Juliette, but it's obvious when the tides turn. Even if I didn't see it at first. I mean getting complacent when you're having fun is easy, right? If shit gets really bad, then at least I'd be going through it with you, rather than someone else who might have a big fat question mark on whether I'm not sure if they'd like willfully hurt me or something. I know you wouldn't do that. Is that what you mean by difficult? That we could get hurt?
no subject
[ a longer pause here before another message, and sigh. ]
Myself, Natasha, my neighbors, we get into some shit from time to time. I know you're going to say you won't mind, but I'll still worry about it. I also just worry about this being just a little weird, for you, but. I know you wont mind that either.
You've met Sombra, right?
no subject
You’re worried I’ll be collateral damage by existing in the same space as you? That could happen whether we were contracted or not, just with how this place is and with how we’re designated.
You’re right, that I don’t mind some weirdness. It’s who I am. You worried it’s gonna be a kind of weird that’ll put me off or something?
Yeah, I have. Really like her a lot, too. We get along well. [ surprising no one. ]
no subject
Of course you do. She's handful, and can treat my house as an extension of hers. South isn't over as often, but there's that.
There's a lot I'm worried about, but at the end of the day. We'll figure it out, Eddie. I'll talk to Natasha when I get a chance, and you should maybe draft up something with Elle if you haven't already.
[ at the end of the day, eddie has thought this through, wash likes him enough to want to look out for him, and eddie is always free to recontract with someone else if circumstances change. ]
You feel safe with me, huh?
no subject
Hm, I guess that’s the mystery of the hello kitty sticker solved, huh? :)
Well, you can tell me when you’re worried about something, especially if it has to do with me. I’m here to talk and listen.
Okay.
Yeah, I’ll do that. Elle already told me she’d help me.
I do feel safe with you. You’re considerate and respectful. Strong. Plus there’s lots of wild shit out there you could’ve had me doing with you already before I knew anything about it. [ been doin some kink research. ] Not everyone would care about being there like I may need, ya know. There’s lots of creeps out there, probably. But you take time for me, so yeah. I’m safe with you. I know it’d be like that in other ways, just living life, too. More hands off probably :) but still. Safe. It’d be nice.