Hey, shout loud enough and I'll probably hear you. But a ping works. And I can keep an eye out, easy.
[ She's still got all her soldier's instincts. Knows how to have her guard up, keep a look out for signs of trouble.
She's absolutely not going to dig into any shit she heard during that week, it's on the blurrier side of things from that time anyway and she's just... not gonna touch it. ]
Guess it's all a matter of fuckin' damage control, huh.
[ yeah not touching it is. absolutely the best call.
he nods, quiet for a moment. south is still south, still one of them, and he has managed to move her off of his list of enemies -- for the most part. but its honestly never even occurred to him until now that he's not alone up here, either. that he's technically living next door to a . . . potentially reliable ally. potentially. maybe. maybe he wouldn't be extraordinarily surprised if he did call for backup and she didn't show up, but. he could still call for it. ]
He'll probably leave you alone. He just has more of a grudge with me, specifically.
'Probably', huh. [ dry, she snorts ] Unless I get in his way or some shit, I'm guessing. Eh, doesn't matter, point is he's a problem for you, so like...
[ She shrugs, decides to leave that open ended, hopes the implication carries itself. A problem for him's a problem for her, now. And it's at least 50% because the problem would be blowing up right across the hall, but the other 50% is well, she does actually care. Gross, right? ]
Least they only stick a few months at a time, I guess.
[ gross. but he does notice. multiple times now she's talked as if her being on his side is almost a given, and in those same instances wash had realized that he still doesn't quite see it that way. he'll. keep working on that. but they're talking like this now, awkwardly in the doorway but still talking, and it's still something. ]
Yeah. I got you. [ a nod, a wordless thank-you. voicing it might be a bit too much for both of them right now. ] It'll be good to have the backup, just in case.
Thankfully Felix isn't actually an idiot, even if he sounds like one. I figure once it sinks in just how much hell he'd be in for attacking his own Dominant he'll slow down on that front. Probably. [ another deep sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. ] I'm just not looking forward to dealing with him coming back and being told that he's contracted as my submissive without any memory of anything.
[ there's a bit of tension in him there that south might notice if she's observant enough. he really wants to talk about felix's death like it doesn't matter, like he's just that damn merc who he would've readily shot in the head if he ever caused too much trouble, but the reality is messy, complicated. wash is still pulling himself apart from his fake-self, and the feelings there are. complicated. ]
[ It's easier for her than even she expected, the history with that other Washington helping remind her they can get on. No, he's not the same Wash, things could go any way from here, but she still thinks it's possible. They're just on different squares of the board right now. Which she's trying to keep in mind. ]
...riiight, weird fucked up death bullshit. Yeah, no, that sounds like a total fucking mess. Fingers fucking crossed he does have that much sense. This system's bullshit but if it might be a bit of a shield then...
[ Shrug. You gotta take what you can get in a bad situation. Perhaps luckily for Wash, she's really not the prying kind. She can see the note of tension in him, but she's not inclined to ask, press on what the fuck happened or what's really bothering him about this. There's clearly something else to this, but all things considered she doubts she'll be any help in any capacity besides back-up if it goes south again. ]
I'll figure out a way to handle it. If nothing else, I have all the leverage.
[ he has all of felix's belongings and a hell lot more information than felix does. he'll be able to use it, and hopefully will be able to maintain some kind of rein on him. hopefully. he sighs again, running a hand through his hair. he's handled worse. kind of. babysitting unruly assholes is kind of his whole thing. ]
You didn't come out of this with anything weird, did you?
[ She nods; she has no doubt Wash can figure out a way to handle this, one way or another. ]
Besides a new appreciation for what my brother has had to put up with from me and those weird dreams exposing my old bullshit to York before I could? Nah.
[ It’s been a hell of a time, sure, but it’s not like the mess Wash has been left to clean up. ]
No contracts, fake me was too hung up on some ex herself I guess. So it’s just the vague memories of people I’ve never met before. No real weird shit.
[ good that south didn't have too much baggage coming out of it, he guesses. he nods, but his attention is clearly caught when she mentions the dreams. he's barely had time to think about them, still reeling in the aftermath of everything else, of how he'd possibly straight up killed someone he apparently cared about even if in real life he's a piece of shit. ]
The dreams. Right. [ shitty dreams are not unfamiliar to him. at all. he closes his eyes for a moment, with a quiet sigh. ] I think York saw something of mine, too.
He saw the whole… North. Thing. Y’know. I uh— well, I kinda made the mistake of not telling him about that whole thing when I got here? Didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot but…
[ Yeah that didn’t pay off. The dreams showed him for her. Not even for the first time, if for the first time with this York. ]
Had to explain what the fuck I was thinking. Sounds worse and stupider every time I explain it. Ugh.
[ She pulls a face, disgust directed at herself. It was not fun explaining to the guy who is kinda messed up without his AI that she wanted to let North’s AI get taken so she could have her brother back. And that’s not even getting into the rest of how it sucked. ]
Think he saw something bad of yours, or just something— personal?
[ ah. north. of course this place would choose a memory like that to pull out into the open for people to see. he grimaces, in genuine sympathy, something that might surprise him later -- it probably helps that she's describing a dream about her brother and not about wash himself. that disgust, too, the way it's so obviously directed at herself. that's something he recognizes.
different kind of person might try to offer some platitude about how she shouldn't blame herself, about how it's all in the past, but wash -- doesn't. that memory, at least, is probably not one that he can really offer comfort to, at least not yet. he's clearly sympathetic, at least. ]
If anyone was going to hear you out, it'd be York. [ unlike wash himself, who did in fact just pull a gun on you. twice! but he's better about it now. promise.
and, well. he pauses, not quite meeting her eye, hesitating for a few moments before he finally looks back at her. ]
Look, I don't -- forget. Anymore. [ just. a vague gesture. he folds his arms across his chest, leaning his weight against one side of the doorframe, breaking eye contact again to look off in some random corner of south's apartment behind her. ] And whenever I sleep, nine times out of ten my mind goes back to the same place.
[ The sympathy straddles a line between surprising and not, because as usual, the multiverse is fucking weird and can go fuck itself. Sharing memories happened on the rig, too, and that Wash... well he saw the same memory, and she saw a couple things in turn. The aftermath of her shooting him. An old memory where she had his back early in the Project, back when she was a team player. Reminders to be better.
But she didn't expect any sympathy from him now. But she'll certainly take it. ]
Yeah he uh— he did. He's a good guy.
[ It takes her a second to connect the pieces Wash lays down, but when she does she hisses with sympathy of her own. Of course. When he says it it's almost as obvious a choice for this place as the North thing is. ]
[ having reality-shattering trauma and a perfect memory is, as it turns out, a no-fun combination. he just nods, not quite meeting her eye, he doesn't like talking about it for obvious reasons. but freelancer is freelancer, and its not like they all didn't already know what happened. at least in the broad strokes. ]
I'm used to it. [ just so dryly, but truthful: when the memory is that strong, so deeply-ingrained, its just an inevitable spiral to the same place whenever he's unable to actually control his thoughts. most nights, if not every night. he sure does avoid sleeping until he has to. ] The new part was having visitors.
Knowing him, he’ll come try talk to you about it. Brace yourself for weirdly condescending sympathy. He’ll mean well, but he’s… well, he’s him.
[ Not that he’s as goddamned patronising with other people as he is her, but it’s still a legitimate warning. North’s… North. She loves him, but he’s a fucking pain sometimes. ]
We had a couple people turn up in like, our shared memories? Lina, for one. It was… well it was sure a fucking night, huh?
[ She’s absolutely choosing not to think too hard about the fact North and her apparently had a shared damn dreamscape for parts of that night. Too close to weird twin telepathy bullshit she’s just refusing to acknowledge. ]
[ urg. he stiffens noticeably at the thought. it makes sense that north would want to come talk to him about it, but. wash really, really doesn't want to talk about it. not to north, not to york, mostly because they are far too nice and its something that he just really doesn't want to be comforted about, and the idea that anyone at all had been able to see those memories from him still pisses him off if he lingers on the thought too much. ]
Great. [ ughh. ] Thanks for the heads up.
[ its fine, he'll handle it. he looks back at her finally when the subject shifts. shared memories? ]
I didn't see much of anyone else's, thankfully. [ York. Sharkface. But . . . ] None of yours. None of -- both of yours?
Can’t let anyone go into that one blind. Shout if you need rescuing from him, too. Or you can always distract him by saying something about me. Either works.
[ That’s mostly a joke. Mostly. It’s definitely probably easy to distract him with the right comment about her, but. ]
Both of ours. Hazard of spending thirty fuckin’ years of our lives barely apart, basically all of our memories overlap. Guess whatever caused the dreams decided to— combine shit for simplicity or some shit, I don’t know.
[ She rolls her eyes. Luckily it didn’t make her relive his death with him, that’d have bothered her in a whole different way. ]
[ wash won't throw her under the bus to get out of a conversation with north that he doesn't want, but he miiight call on her if he really needs it. but he'll handle it. he likes north, of course he does, he just really doesn't want to talk about that with anyone if he can help it.
he does raise an eyebrow when she describes the shared dreams -- he won't ask about it, because it seems like a shitty thing to ask, but he's going to assume that if they did have a shared dream about north's death that she wouldn't be able to talk about it quite so calmly. ]
I guess I'm glad my fucked up dreamscape was just my fucked up dreamscape.
[ She honestly wonders if the only thing that saved her from reliving it with him is that York apparently didn’t interact with the dream he saw at all, just watched. Too stunned to even say anything. It was Carolina and Temple commenting on what they were watching that drew her and North back into reality. ]
Yeah, you should be. I mean, coulda been worse, but— super fucking weird, do not recommend.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Hey, shout loud enough and I'll probably hear you. But a ping works. And I can keep an eye out, easy.
[ She's still got all her soldier's instincts. Knows how to have her guard up, keep a look out for signs of trouble.
She's absolutely not going to dig into any shit she heard during that week, it's on the blurrier side of things from that time anyway and she's just... not gonna touch it. ]
Guess it's all a matter of fuckin' damage control, huh.
no subject
he nods, quiet for a moment. south is still south, still one of them, and he has managed to move her off of his list of enemies -- for the most part. but its honestly never even occurred to him until now that he's not alone up here, either. that he's technically living next door to a . . . potentially reliable ally. potentially. maybe. maybe he wouldn't be extraordinarily surprised if he did call for backup and she didn't show up, but. he could still call for it. ]
He'll probably leave you alone. He just has more of a grudge with me, specifically.
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'Probably', huh. [ dry, she snorts ] Unless I get in his way or some shit, I'm guessing. Eh, doesn't matter, point is he's a problem for you, so like...
[ She shrugs, decides to leave that open ended, hopes the implication carries itself. A problem for him's a problem for her, now. And it's at least 50% because the problem would be blowing up right across the hall, but the other 50% is well, she does actually care. Gross, right? ]
Least they only stick a few months at a time, I guess.
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Yeah. I got you. [ a nod, a wordless thank-you. voicing it might be a bit too much for both of them right now. ] It'll be good to have the backup, just in case.
Thankfully Felix isn't actually an idiot, even if he sounds like one. I figure once it sinks in just how much hell he'd be in for attacking his own Dominant he'll slow down on that front. Probably. [ another deep sigh, closing his eyes for a moment. ] I'm just not looking forward to dealing with him coming back and being told that he's contracted as my submissive without any memory of anything.
[ there's a bit of tension in him there that south might notice if she's observant enough. he really wants to talk about felix's death like it doesn't matter, like he's just that damn merc who he would've readily shot in the head if he ever caused too much trouble, but the reality is messy, complicated. wash is still pulling himself apart from his fake-self, and the feelings there are. complicated. ]
no subject
[ It's easier for her than even she expected, the history with that other Washington helping remind her they can get on. No, he's not the same Wash, things could go any way from here, but she still thinks it's possible. They're just on different squares of the board right now. Which she's trying to keep in mind. ]
...riiight, weird fucked up death bullshit. Yeah, no, that sounds like a total fucking mess. Fingers fucking crossed he does have that much sense. This system's bullshit but if it might be a bit of a shield then...
[ Shrug. You gotta take what you can get in a bad situation. Perhaps luckily for Wash, she's really not the prying kind. She can see the note of tension in him, but she's not inclined to ask, press on what the fuck happened or what's really bothering him about this. There's clearly something else to this, but all things considered she doubts she'll be any help in any capacity besides back-up if it goes south again. ]
no subject
[ he has all of felix's belongings and a hell lot more information than felix does. he'll be able to use it, and hopefully will be able to maintain some kind of rein on him. hopefully. he sighs again, running a hand through his hair. he's handled worse. kind of. babysitting unruly assholes is kind of his whole thing. ]
You didn't come out of this with anything weird, did you?
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[ She nods; she has no doubt Wash can figure out a way to handle this, one way or another. ]
Besides a new appreciation for what my brother has had to put up with from me and those weird dreams exposing my old bullshit to York before I could? Nah.
[ It’s been a hell of a time, sure, but it’s not like the mess Wash has been left to clean up. ]
No contracts, fake me was too hung up on some ex herself I guess. So it’s just the vague memories of people I’ve never met before. No real weird shit.
no subject
The dreams. Right. [ shitty dreams are not unfamiliar to him. at all. he closes his eyes for a moment, with a quiet sigh. ] I think York saw something of mine, too.
no subject
He saw the whole… North. Thing. Y’know. I uh— well, I kinda made the mistake of not telling him about that whole thing when I got here? Didn’t want to get off on the wrong foot but…
[ Yeah that didn’t pay off. The dreams showed him for her. Not even for the first time, if for the first time with this York. ]
Had to explain what the fuck I was thinking. Sounds worse and stupider every time I explain it. Ugh.
[ She pulls a face, disgust directed at herself. It was not fun explaining to the guy who is kinda messed up without his AI that she wanted to let North’s AI get taken so she could have her brother back. And that’s not even getting into the rest of how it sucked. ]
Think he saw something bad of yours, or just something— personal?
no subject
different kind of person might try to offer some platitude about how she shouldn't blame herself, about how it's all in the past, but wash -- doesn't. that memory, at least, is probably not one that he can really offer comfort to, at least not yet. he's clearly sympathetic, at least. ]
If anyone was going to hear you out, it'd be York. [ unlike wash himself, who did in fact just pull a gun on you. twice! but he's better about it now. promise.
and, well. he pauses, not quite meeting her eye, hesitating for a few moments before he finally looks back at her. ]
Look, I don't -- forget. Anymore. [ just. a vague gesture. he folds his arms across his chest, leaning his weight against one side of the doorframe, breaking eye contact again to look off in some random corner of south's apartment behind her. ] And whenever I sleep, nine times out of ten my mind goes back to the same place.
no subject
[ The sympathy straddles a line between surprising and not, because as usual, the multiverse is fucking weird and can go fuck itself. Sharing memories happened on the rig, too, and that Wash... well he saw the same memory, and she saw a couple things in turn. The aftermath of her shooting him. An old memory where she had his back early in the Project, back when she was a team player. Reminders to be better.
But she didn't expect any sympathy from him now. But she'll certainly take it. ]
Yeah he uh— he did. He's a good guy.
[ It takes her a second to connect the pieces Wash lays down, but when she does she hisses with sympathy of her own. Of course. When he says it it's almost as obvious a choice for this place as the North thing is. ]
Fuuuuck.
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I'm used to it. [ just so dryly, but truthful: when the memory is that strong, so deeply-ingrained, its just an inevitable spiral to the same place whenever he's unable to actually control his thoughts. most nights, if not every night. he sure does avoid sleeping until he has to. ] The new part was having visitors.
North got a look, too.
no subject
Knowing him, he’ll come try talk to you about it. Brace yourself for weirdly condescending sympathy. He’ll mean well, but he’s… well, he’s him.
[ Not that he’s as goddamned patronising with other people as he is her, but it’s still a legitimate warning. North’s… North. She loves him, but he’s a fucking pain sometimes. ]
We had a couple people turn up in like, our shared memories? Lina, for one. It was… well it was sure a fucking night, huh?
[ She’s absolutely choosing not to think too hard about the fact North and her apparently had a shared damn dreamscape for parts of that night. Too close to weird twin telepathy bullshit she’s just refusing to acknowledge. ]
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Great. [ ughh. ] Thanks for the heads up.
[ its fine, he'll handle it. he looks back at her finally when the subject shifts. shared memories? ]
I didn't see much of anyone else's, thankfully. [ York. Sharkface. But . . . ] None of yours. None of -- both of yours?
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Can’t let anyone go into that one blind. Shout if you need rescuing from him, too. Or you can always distract him by saying something about me. Either works.
[ That’s mostly a joke. Mostly. It’s definitely probably easy to distract him with the right comment about her, but. ]
Both of ours. Hazard of spending thirty fuckin’ years of our lives barely apart, basically all of our memories overlap. Guess whatever caused the dreams decided to— combine shit for simplicity or some shit, I don’t know.
[ She rolls her eyes. Luckily it didn’t make her relive his death with him, that’d have bothered her in a whole different way. ]
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he does raise an eyebrow when she describes the shared dreams -- he won't ask about it, because it seems like a shitty thing to ask, but he's going to assume that if they did have a shared dream about north's death that she wouldn't be able to talk about it quite so calmly. ]
I guess I'm glad my fucked up dreamscape was just my fucked up dreamscape.
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[ She honestly wonders if the only thing that saved her from reliving it with him is that York apparently didn’t interact with the dream he saw at all, just watched. Too stunned to even say anything. It was Carolina and Temple commenting on what they were watching that drew her and North back into reality. ]
Yeah, you should be. I mean, coulda been worse, but— super fucking weird, do not recommend.